WTF is Perimenopause? A Midlife Crash Course

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Let’s just call it like it is — what the actual f** is perimenopause? Because one day, I was brushing my thick, pretty hair — you know, the kind people have been complimenting my whole life — and the next, I’m staring at the sink like, “Wait… why is half my hairline in there?”

I’ve always been the girl with all that hair. And yet, suddenly, the edges started looking a little thinner. My hair hadn’t grown more than an inch in the last couple years, and the shedding? Ridiculous. Da fuq?

That’s when I started noticing other weird little shifts. I couldn’t seem to focus — like my brain was buffering. I’d overthink my to-do list to the point of total paralysis. Scheduling a simple appointment felt like a full-on adulting challenge. Yet I some how mustard enough of something to book an appointment to get tested for ADHD because I was so sure something was off.

Then I looked up and realized I’d gained ten pounds. Okay, no biggie, I thought — let’s get it together, girl. But two months later, my husband’s over there at his goal weight, and I’m… halfway there, then back up plus two, then down three, then completely stuck.

Cue my mom’s voice from somewhere in the universe: “You don’t lose weight as easily when you get older.”

And then came the heat. Not metaphorical, not spiritual — actual I-might-burst-into-flames heat. I was walking around with two personal fans like some midlife Beyoncé stage prop. Women would grin knowingly and say, “Ahh, looks like you’re having personal summers.”

Silly me, the first few months I’d laugh it off — “Nah, I’m only 42, I just don’t like being hot.”Yeah… about that.

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So, What Is Perimenopause, Really?

Perimenopause is the transition phase before menopause — basically your body’s way of saying, “We’re not done yet, but change is coming.”

It’s when your hormones — mainly estrogen and progesterone, your body’s dynamic duo — start to fluctuate. And when they fluctuate, everything starts doing its own thing too. Mood, sleep, skin, energy, libido, memory — all of it gets invited to the remix.

It can start as early as your mid-30s or as late as your early 50s, and can last anywhere from a few years to a decade. There’s no stopwatch, no uniform timeline, just your body quietly shifting gears.

In short:

Perimenopause is the time when your hormones begin to change leading up to menopause, causing fluctuations in your cycle, mood, and overall well-being. It’s not the end — it’s the transition.

The factory’s still open — it’s just working on a new management plan.

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What It’s Not

Let’s clear this up because the confusion out there is real.

• It’s not menopause. You officially hit menopause once you’ve gone a full year without a period.

• It’s not the end of your youth, beauty, or worth — even though your body might be acting like it’s rebooting from Windows 95.

• And it’s definitely not one-size-fits-all.

  
  

Some women breeze through this season. Others feel like aliens in their own skin. Both are normal.

If your hormones were a band, this would be their experimental album phase — unexpected, emotional, and occasionally full of surprises no one asked for.

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How It Shows Up (aka Why You Feel So Different)

For me, it was the hair first. Then the brain fog. Then the weird weight rollercoaster.

For you, it might be sleepless nights, mood swings that come out of nowhere, anxiety that wasn’t there before, or waking up drenched at 3 AM. Maybe your patience is thinner, your energy’s all over the place, or you’re suddenly questioning everything — from your skincare to your career to whether you even like people anymore.

You’re not broken. You’re transitioning. (close your eyes and say that again)

Your body’s chemistry is rewriting itself, and that can make everything feel… off. But understanding why it’s happening changes everything. Because once you know what’s going on, you can stop blaming yourself and start listening.

Start paying attention to what your body’s whispering before it starts shouting.

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How to Live (and Thrive) With It

The goal isn’t just to “deal” with perimenopause — it’s to live through it, learn from it, and maybe even laugh at it along the way.

That means giving yourself grace. Letting go of the version of you that could multitask like a superhero, and embracing the version who might need a nap before 3 p.m.

Move because it feels good, not as punishment. Eat like you actually like yourself. Hydrate like it’s a hobby. And when your body starts doing something weird, don’t panic — get curious.

And talk about it. Please, talk about it.

With your girlfriends, your partner, your doctor, or even strangers on the internet (hi). Because the more we talk about it, the less isolating it feels.

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In Closing: Knowledge, Power, and a Damn Good Fan

So yeah, that’s what the fuck perimenopause is. Messy, weird, occasionally hilarious, and totally human.

It’s not “the end.” It’s the bridge — between who you were and who you’re becoming.

You might not have the same symptoms I do. You might have a few, or none, or all at once. But if something feels off — in your body, your mind, your mood — listen. You’re not crazy. You’re just evolving.

Knowledge is power — and that’s not just for politics.

Now that you know what’s happening, you can stop surviving and start thriving.

So go forth. Spread the word. Forward this post. Tell your friends. And shameless ask: sign up for my newsletter, and let’s ponder this sh*t together.

Because midlife may be messy — but we’re still magic.

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Lets ponder this together, and keep the conversation going......

What was the first moment you thought, “Okay… something’s different”?

Was it your sleep, your mood, your weight, your focus — or something you couldn’t quite put your finger on yet? Share in the comments if you’re comfortable. You never know who needs to read your story and feel a little less alone.